Because I had a Bad Day.

Today was not the best. I found out that I am for sure not getting the GA job in the dorms and it upset me pretty bad but I didn't make a big deal out of it. I understand the reasons. I totally disagree with the reasons but I understand them just the same. Then a little bit ago I got a phone call that made me cry and I hate crying. However I caught the tail end of American Idol and Adam Lamberts song made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside so I'm all better now *grin*.

I'm so ready to be out of Monticello though. I'm tired of pretending to be happy here so I can't wait to move!!! I'm going to miss some people but I'll keep in touch with the important ones and forget about the rest.

I think London will be good for me and so will living across campus in the other dorm over the summer. I guess my boss felt bad about not being able to give me the GA job so he gave me the Summer RA job which is fine with me. Either way my summer classes are being paid for. :)

So even though today wasn't the best I'm still smiling and life will go on. I've decided I'll just be the best RA ever next year even though I didn't get the promotion I wanted. Things in my family may not be the greatest but they aren't the worst they have ever been either. Life is still good.

Washington DC #4

I have a little bit of free time before my terrorism class so I thought y'all would enjoy some more pictures of my trip to DC.



This is Zach. He is a UAM graduate who now works in DC and he acted as a great tour guide for most of our trip.

This is the first picture I took of the whitehouse. It didn't turn out so great.

This is us at the oldest pub in DC. It's now a nice restaraunt. We ate here with another UAM Graduate who is now working in washington as a lobbiest.


Us at old Eberts again.

I'm sitting at Congressman Mike Ross' desk.

Ok I'll post more later!!

Struggle

I hate that I'm being emo and blogging about this crap but I'm struggling right now. I'm not happy with certain areas of my life so I'm looking for a change but I feel like I'm being pulled away from things that have always been a constant in my life. I'm so ready to leave Arkansas and start a clean new chapter in my life. I'm ready for a place where no-one knows my name and I can make a brand new life.

I hate the fact that I dont enjoy going to church here anymore. I love going in Conway and other places I just do not enjoy going to church in monticello. It just doesnt feel like home anymore and it makes it so easy to find reasons not to go. I need help I do know that. I just hope that when I move I can find a place that I truly enjoy again. I feel like I'm in such a dry desert in my spiritual life.

Just pray for me that I make the right decisions in life over the next few months.

On a happy note: 3 WEEKS TIL I LEAVE FOR LONDON!!!!!!

Excitedness (yeah I totally just made up a word).

I have a lot of things to be excited about in my life right now. First of all the end of the semester is almost here! That means I have ONE YEAR LEFT!!!!1 I'm sooooo happy. I am so ready to leave Monticello. I'll miss my little 16x16 ft home of 4 year but I'm ready for a bigger place with a kitchen and a bathroom. I'm also ready for a drivers license from another state. Second I leave for London in 25 days!! I'm so glad that I'm taking advantage of these trip opportunities. Third I am now the chairperson of the student activities board here on campus which is totally awesome. Fourth I just love life wich excites me! Now I'm off to work to share my love for life with everyone.

Yvonne

P.S. please pray for my car. The fact that it is being dumb does NOT excite me.

Apparantly I'm not a fan of marriage (I titled this after I wrote the blog).

Well the conference is over and I did OK. It wasn't my best presentation but it certainly was not my worst. Now I'm sitting in my room about halfway done cleaning it and I really really don't feel like finishing it. I HATE cleaning my room! I would rather scrub a dozen toilets than clean my room. If I ever get married my husband will be in charge of keeping the bedroom clean. I'll do everything else but he can do the bedroom. However I don't plan on getting married so I can have a messy bedroom all I want. Now don't condemn me for saying this but I wish it were OK to just have long term relationships instead of marriage. I hate the whole idea of marriage sometimes. I think it's because I have serious authority issues or something. I hate the thought of being accountable to some guy just because he's in love with me. I know my logic is totally screwed up but that's OK it's my logic not yours. I'm serious though I'm semi dating a guy right now and I love the fact that we can be best friends, have great conversations, and go out and have fun, but at the end of the day I don't have to plan my life around him. If our paths happen to cross and we can make time for a date great if not nobody gets upset. I don't have to tell him every time I leave the house and I don't feel bad about going to the huddle house at 3:00 AM because guess what we don't live together. We aren't super romantic and mushy we have just entered into a relationship of sorts. Yeah there are those soft sweet moments where I feel all special and stuff but it doesn't make me want to change my last name to Janisko. Sorry I know all my church friends probably think I'm horrible but I'm not. Bottom line: I don't want to get married! At least not anytime soon. Anyway I have NO idea where all that came from. I'm going to get back to the dreaded task of cleaning my room.

Nervousness Abounds

I have been working my butt off on a paper for the last 6 months or so and tomorrow I get to present my research at a conference (actually it's technically this afternoon). I am so nervous I can't sleep. Wish me luck! The paper is called, The Path to Europeanization: Opposing views of Havel and Klaus. I realize that means absolutely nothing to most of you but it is a fun topic. I wont post my abstract here which would help you to understand the paper a bit better but they are publishing these papers in a journal so I need to be careful about where I'm posting it until after publication. Anyway I'm basically comparing imposed communism to imposed democracy we'll see how it goes tomorrow. Pray for me and wish me luck!!

Yvonne

Some people anger me.

I'm highly angered as I read the news today. I see where people who are miserable insist on making everyone else's life absolute hell. We have three instances and probably more in the past few weeks where people have decided to kill themselves but decide to take a few people with them on their way. I'm not talk about suicide bombers either. They at least have false justification for their actions. Please note that I am not sympathizing with suicide bombers but they usually aren't the father of the people they decide to blow up. It's usually a random target and they feel as if they are doing Gods work. I promise you this man that all five of his kids because he was mad at his wife was not doing Gods work. Nor was he fighting for some cause that he felt was worth fighting for. This crazy insane person was so screwed up in the head and so miserable with his life that he shot his own children WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING!!!! I get so angry when stuff like this happens. I want to question and ask why and I want to demand an answer.I realize that God isn't going to give me one and I will be totally honest there are days when I struggle with that. However in the end I always know that God is still God and he is still in control and I need to just let him do his thing because he knows exactly what is going on. He certainly didn't cause that man to shoot his children but God still knows what's going on.

OK that's my rant for the night sorry about that I'm just upset.